...there are a few things we need to discuss. I believe these are things that will help you develop rich, successful lives. They will also keep Daddy and I sane.
1) You sleep too much. It's not the sleeping that bothers us. It's the mad bursts of energy at 5 a.m. that taunt us, reminding us of how much sleep we missed. So please, save your outbursts for times when we won't resent them.
2) You're too curious. It's natural to question how the world works and to seek understanding, but understand this - every piece of food I pull out of the refrigerator is not for you, so you don't need to poke, sniff, or lick it all.
3) One at a time. Yes, it's very cool to have such a large bathroom, and it's awesome that your potty is in the same room as mine...but just because I forget to latch the door does not mean that's an invitation for you to saunter in so we can do business at the same time. Take a number, get in line.
4) Respect my work hours. When I'm typing at my computer and ignoring your continual cries for attention, it's because I'm busy. It's not a challenge to see how far you'll go before I notice you. Trust me, I know you're there, so you can stop putting holes in my pants and jumping on my desk.
I think you'll find that a few minor changes in each of these areas will help us all enjoy a happier, more peaceful hope. Thanks for being so understanding!
Love, Mommy & Daddy
(*Kids = cats)