Monday, March 31, 2008's the link

Sigh...check it out

Update on Matt:

(I need a vacuum...does anyone have a vacuum I can have? I haven't swept in 6 weeks because they don't make bags or belts for mine anymore. I have two cats...its nasty. Please help.)

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Please don't arrest him!

Wow, what a night. My FIRST experience with the cops coming to my house! (Okay, there was the time I lived in CL, pop. 1100, when I had just moved in and the cop stopped at the end of the driveway to see how I was doing, because in a small town like that the fuzz has nothing better to do than check in with new tenants. But I felt safe!!).

So, I've been at the computer a lot tonight ('s addictive). Matt's outside working, cleaning out the truck, moving things around in the yard. Sure it's after 9:00 pm, its dark and 30 degrees, but that's when he does his best work. He came in 10:15, maybe 10:30. At 10:45 I nearly dropped a load in my pants when someone knocked on our front door. I opened up to find...the Winchestertonfieldville Sheriff's Department (a guy and gal).

Apparently someone called in because they thought they heard two gun shots in the area (yikes!). Common for Vegas, where my sibs live, but not so much in Northern Michigan. So I invite them in and get Matt out of bed. The guy seemed okay with us. The gal, well, she was checkin' out my house. I'm pretty sure she thinks we're with the Michigan Militia (only about 6 people have ever been in our house...for a reason...we have no storage and lots of power my kitchen/foyer...please don't drop by unannounced). Anyway, Matt gets up and starts talking with the dude. If there HAD been gun shots, Matt would have been outside when it happened.

(not the actual conversation; it has been added for dramatic effect)

"Two shots?" we ask.

"Two," they confirm.

"Well, I was working in the dark," Matt explains. "I found a couple of old speakers that I don't need and threw them toward the back of the house, to get them out of the way."

"Two?" they ask.

"Two," Matt confirms. "And they hit my aluminum shed."

"That could be the sound they heard," says the dude.

"Why wouldn't you hear that noise?" the chick thinks suspiciously, sizing me up to figure out how a woman in a preppy teal sweater can live in such chaos.

"Because I'm married to him," I stare back. "It's not uncommon for him to make unusual noises in unusual places at unusual times of the day."

So Matt took the nice man and woman to the shed, where they found the speakers right where Matt said they would be.

And now we know the cops.

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Friday, March 28, 2008

I'm still trying...

Well folks, I am still trying to be a writer, but I often find that the line between personal writing and publishable writing is blurry. I want to write a piece that someone will read and say, "That's funny. She's a freak. Let's publish that." But where do I post it?

The Ramblings? Just comments on my life. Nothing spectacular, just naked ladies in bathrooms, hockey replays and broken elevators. No big deal.

There Has To Be A Beginning? It's supposed to be my writing blog, but so far its just comments to let you know how my novel is coming along. That's not good. It should be my essays. But when I think about my essays I realize that they're nothing spectacular, just naked ladies in bathrooms, hockey replays and broken elevators. Wait a minute...

I have to draw a line in the proverbial sand. What do I post HERE? What do I post THERE? Got it!

Short essays (and family pictures): Here

Long essays (and writing updates and author reviews): There

Whew. Weight off of my shoulders!

Okey-dokey...I'm gonna go eat dinner. All of think must have burned two or three calories...maybe four!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Can't Wait 'til I'm Old

Then Matt and I can push shopping carts side-by-side down the aisle at Meijer and look at everything on sale...and no one is rude cuz we're old. We can stop and block traffic to look through our stack of 4,329 coupons to see if we have that Del Monte coupon...and people are patient cuz we're old. Then we can debate whether or not that forty-five cents is worth it, or maybe we should hold on to the coupon until the veggies are even MORE on sale...and people have pity on us cuz we're old. We can fart in public without, wait, Matt does that now. We can go through the express check-out 'do-it-yourself' line and hold up traffic for thirty minutes...and people will try to help us, cuz we're old.

But most importantly, we will RULE Winchestertonfieldville on Wednesdays because it's Senior Citizen discount day all over town. We can:
- Drive 46 mph in the left lane, next to the 45 mph driver in the right lane.
- Turn on our blinker and brake at every driveway until we find the right one.
- Walk through parking lots without ever looking for cars.
- Turn a 3-shopping bag trip to the store into an hour long demolition derby.
- Make the younger generation excited about growing older ... so they can exact their own revenge someday!! Ha, ha, ha!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

News on Matt...

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Monday, March 10, 2008

Because We're VB's...a Shopping Excursion

What trip would be complete without a little shopping? As the same blood flows through the veins of Homeo, E-B and me, it was off to the outlet mall.

For those of you who know me well, you understand that I HATE to drive and, therefore, quite often chat while I move. Is E-B really my niece? I think this photo is proof enough.
So, we shopped a lot and got some GREAT deals on kidlet clothes and toys, but with so many fun rides throughout the outlet mall, it was inevitable that the E-B would need to test them out, for quality assurance purposes. The helicopter was fabulous...
...but a ride with Bert & Ernie?? Doesn't the excited expression say it all?? Yeah.
A little ways down the corridor and we stumbled across a fountain. We probably could have passed it, but back at the apartment complex Aunt Karin was showing the E-B how to dip her toes in the pool without jumping in. As soon as the E-B saw the fountain, she just HAD to test out her new skills!! I'm pretty sure she enjoyed it (more than her ride with the Muppets).

After all of that excitement, however, little legs need a break. With no help needed, the E-B pulled herself up and took a load off.
Finally it was time to head out. Anxious to go as far and as fast as possible, the E-B took off ahead of Aunt Karin and Daddy-O...the ones carrying the bags. Of course Mama had to make sure the E-B didn't attack that kiosk up ahead. What kiosk you ask?
Why, the one selling sunglasses, of course. But, if you're the E-B then sunglasses are just called "Mamas". Anything that Mama wears is called a Mama...sweatshirts, coats, etc. Oh, I take that back...she knows "choose" and "docks" (yes, that's shoes and socks).
And that's my trip! Okay, there are more photos to come...

Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Shrek Hat

Okay, so this isn't exactly the picture of Ella I wanted to post, but it was the last one I uploaded and it won't let me just delete this one picture. It took SOOOO long to upload all of the photos that you'll just have to look at the one that looks like Ella picking her nose.

The first three shots are a family in Shrek. It's really just the same two hats. They were a present from Uncle Matt who believes EVERYONE should have a Shrek hat (it you get one in the mail unexpectedly...thank Matt).

Ahh...Ella in timeout. Isn't it cute??

And Ella with her "mow" (ma-oo) [that's what a cat says...just ask her]. This is Violet. They love each other.

Hot Tubbin'

I could just tell you that my sisters and I tried to use the apartment complex hot tub, only to find out when we got there and tried to open the gate that it was closed (we had to hunt someone down to tell us why). But that's boring. Instead, I will act out the incident as Ella's inner monologue:

"Are you sure I can wear this in public?"

"How am I supposed to know where to go? You're the adults!"

"Uh-oh...looks like we're locked out? Hey, if I pull on this will my robe open?"

"Just pretend like you're tired and Momma will carry you home! Hee, hee!"

Saturday, March 08, 2008

To whet your appetite...

And these aren't even the CUTE pictures!! Wait until I get those up...but right now I'm fearing "Springing Forward!", so I'm going to bed.

Inside, outside, upside down!

Actually, my kitties prefer to be inside just about anything. Here you see Bucket (black) in a box, and our dear lil' Midgie in a bag. It's impossible to keep any empty box or back out for any period of time longer then ten minutes; if its out that long, the cats have found it and are playing in it. And they usually destroy it, as they fight over who gets to be inside!!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Stuck in an Elevator

So here I am, enjoying visiting Vegas. I'm helping Shell get moved, so we rented a storage unit for some of her items. There's a U-Haul storage nearby, so it seemed fitting. We rented a unit Saturday, moved a few items in and decided to do some more on Sunday. That's when it got interesting.

Shell has a 5x10 unit on the 2nd level, interior of the facility. They provide carts for your use at no charge. Excellent! We can wheel her stuff to the elevator and up the stairs...two doors down to her conveniently located unit.

We made or first trip. The carts are Austin-Powers-inspired and require precision and accuracy when making a 27-point turn. Once we finally figured those out, life was easier. Until we returned with her dressers.

It got pretty chilly in Sin City, so we wanted to unload as quickly as possible. I loaded the first cart and headed off to the unit. I got into the elevator, pushed "2" and waited. And waited. And waited. I pushed "1". Nothing. I pushed the Door Open button. Nothing. I started to sing my own version of "Stuck in an Elevator". I pushed some more buttons. For fun, I knocked on the door. It knocked back.


(Muffled) "Karin? Did you already go upstairs?"

"No. I'm stuck."

(Insert crazy laughter)

Shell went off to get some help. At some point the elevator doors randomly opened, so I made sure to push her cart of belongings out. I waved at Shell and the U-Haul man as they walked toward me. I told him I was fine, but the elevator wasn't working. He decided to see if he could fix it.

Mr. U-Haul man went into the mechanical room as Shell and I laughed and laughed about my ordeal. We chatted and laughed as Mr. U-Haul tried to fix things. He got into the elevator to see if he had been successful. Shell and I started crying because we were laughing so hard at the silliness of the situation. We laughed some more. Then some more. Finally, Shell looked at the elevator.

"I don't think it went up," she said. "Hey! Are you stuck??"

(muffled) "Um, yep."

(A chorus of hilarious laughter)

Then I got to go to the office and tell the other U-Haul guys that I had safely emerged from the stuck elevator...but now Mr. U-Haul was stuck. LOTS of laughter and joking from the staff!

Well, I'm proud to report that Mr. U-Haul exited safely, much as I had, when the doors randomly and unexpectedly opened. With little fanfare, he suggested we use a different elevator. We did.

That's all.