Monday, November 29, 2004


I've survived another Thanksgiving. I wish I was a bit more excited than I actually am, but I'm not. I have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving. It's not that I don't have a lot for which to be thankful, because I have TONS of things, but I still have a hard time with the holiday.

I don't really care for turkey. Fresh turkey I can handle, but I don't like leftovers. I have also never like gravy...sweet potatoes...or cranberries (though my mother is getting creative with some new recipes). So where does that leave me? With broccoli casserole, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and stuffing. On the plus side I LOVE those four things, but I still often wonder, "Why all of this fuss over a meal that I don't particularly like?" Now if I was having a large veggie covered pizza, cheesy bread sticks and some chocolate soy-milk I could get behind it!! This year there was also the disappointment of no pumpkin pie. Sigh. However, as I do aspire to be an optimist instead of a pessimist...I did get to try my very first, made-from-scratch banana cream pie, and I found it quite delightful.

As Thanksgiving continues, and the meal comes to an end, the inevitable Christmas tree fiasco begins. I'm no Scrooge by any means, but the Christmas tree at my parent's house is a whole new beast. This year's theme: Crystal (and yes, next year's theme has already been picked). I enjoy decorating my own home, where I put things where I want and only put up what I want. Drill Sgt. Michelle will have none of that at Camp Van Buren. There must be order, as the theme depends upon it! In the past I usually put the tree together (yep, its fake) and have to put on the lights. Neither of these are my favorite, but I've somehow been designated as the tree/light girl. This year, I rebelled.

I wouldn't think the lack of desire or interest in creating the Crystal Christmas would be a big deal, but I heard plenty about it from the Sarge. I hope she realizes it for what it was: a simple lack of interest in tree lighting, and a final refusal to be bullied into that job. I'm not boycotting the tree, nor am I against having it...I'm just against my having to do anything if I don't want to do it. I can see how one would consider this selfish, and perhaps it is, but I was curious to see what would happen if, for one year, I did nothing. I gotta tell you...I liked it.

Now that the weekend is over the family can begin concentrating on other events, but Thanksgiving 2005 already lingers in the air. I'm neither excited, nor am I dreading it, but perhaps I will make further steps to alleviate the less popular aspects. I will stand firm in my conviction to not light the tree...I will enjoy lots of mashed potatoes with broccoli casserole...and perhaps sneak an order to Pizza Hut for dinner.

Friday, November 12, 2004

I love to write

And it's a good thing too. I jotted all of these notes down last night but never saved them. Luckily, it won't be a problem to start over again...

I love to write. I don't just mean the physical act of writing onto paper. I don't just mean the concept of researching and recording my thoughts. I love it all. I like watching the words form on the page as my pen leaves a trail of ideas and words behind. The click-clack of the keyboard is music to my ears. I enjoy the whole process.

I don't necessarily need a topic about which to write, but it helps. I have been known to write about anything, to ramble for the sake of writing. However, it is an incomplete experience without the planning, researching and eventual regurgitation of someone else's work mixed in with my own convictions. A topic helps, but I will write for any reason. It intrigues me that I studied English in college for the opportunity to read, but I now miss the challenge of writing.

My job doesn't give me the full experience of writing. I have the opportunity to record and distribute data, but it is still lacking. It lacks me. Please don't misunderstand, as I don't desire fame or recognition. However, I do want the opportunity to let my soul be seen. It's not that I believe that my opinion is right, or that anyone even really cares what my opinions are, but I want the opportunity to express them. In writing I have to chance to think about life, formulate the right words and then to share them, with or without anyone knowing from whence the ideas came.

Perhaps that is why I prefer the written word to the spoken word. There aren't many people who know me that will tell you I have a problem with the spoken word. Quite the opposite actually. I often suffer diarreah of the mouth, with anything and everything spilling forth. My tongue too frequently works more quickly than my brain and I put myself in a bad situation, wishing I could take back what just errupted, or that I could think of a better apology. That is rarely the case with writing. I think writing is the left-brained man's art form. I can research, outline, create note cards and proof-read before submitting my final copy. It gives me the joy of being myself as creatively and as organized-ly (?) as I desire.

Funny, how I spent four years dreading the next writing assignment, then four years thankful that I am no longer under that pressure. And now? I'm ready for that challenge again...