Thursday, October 27, 2005

Auggghhh!!! Grrrr....humpffff.

I just spent, like, THIRTY MINUTES spilling my guts and letting the world know about the angst and turmoil I endure before posting a blog. I posted it, I went to read it - POOF! Nothing. Grrrr... (please reference "The World at Your Fingertips, archived Sept. 2004).

Well...TOO BAD!! You don't get to know now. Humpf. "I was going for innocence." - Pain, Hercules (the cartoon)

Okay, fine, I'll summarize:
Blog? What do I write? Funny? Trying to hard? Will anyone like it? Do I care? NO!!

That's it, in a nutshell - NOW GET OFF MY BACK! (Sheesh)

Sorry to keep raising my voice. I'm just frustrated. Sigh. Here's hoping someone else actually gets to see this.

Timing is Everything

(DISCLAIMER: The title has little to do with the blog...I just liked it and couldn't think of anything better).

Every now and then I remember I have a blog, so I like to contribute something to it. However, when I think about that I wonder, "Do I have to be clever again? What if I'm boring this time? Suppose people aren't satisfied and then never come back??" I receive quite a bit of peace in the fact that, other than those to whom I've sent this site, no one really comes to this site anyway. That is mildly reassuring. But I still ask myself, "How can I keep my friends from visiting my knittingdiva sister and still see me?"

Admittedly I don't live a very extraordinary life. These truly are nothing more than ramblings, but they give me something to do in the down time. There are only so many times you can call your best friend and say, "Nothing new here, how about you?" Its in those times that I enjoy listening to the sound of my keyboard as I spew my thoughts. If it was merely for my own benefit the content wouldn't be nearly as important, but everyone once in a while there may be an audience. The pressure builds!!

Don't get me wrong...I don't really care what you think. I mean, to some degree I do, but whether or not you think my blog is coherent, formulaic or random enough for you is of little concern to me. Whether my site is a collection of nonsense or a dedicated, thematic blog I just want the content to be enjoyable. (Yes, I do believe my sister can make her site about [bear with me] knitting entertaining, so long as it is well written).

So I pause: do I write today? I'm not feeling funny. I'm not feeling witty. I'm not feeling saucy. Is it worth it to write today? While I don't write about the same things I DO want to maintain a standard that I've set for myself: humor. I'm not going for gut-busting laughs or Comedy Central chuckles...I just want there to be an air of light-hearted humor...enjoyable humor.

Which leads me to the next dilemma: I don't laugh at the same things everyone else laughs at. If you've only seen Napoleon Dynomite once and don't ever care to see it again, you might not like this sight. Then again, you might. Did you laugh when Napoleon danced? Did you laugh when the paperboy fell off his bike in While You were Sleeping? Maybe we should talk.

Anyway, now I'm ready to post something, but these questions run through my mind. I've finally decided: who the hell cares? I mean, really, if you know me well enough to be reading my blog, you know me well enough not to expect the normal. And if you don't know me, I'm sorry. You're missing out.

I think I can carry on now. Thanks for letting me talk this out.