This is now my fourth summer at Shanty Creek Resort & Club in beautiful Bellaire, Michigan (it's always a beautiful day at Shanty Creek). During my first few weeks here I received a stark warning: "Don't use the bathroom on Tuesday mornings, 9:00 - 9:30." For four years I have heeded that advice...until today.
In a moment of poor judgment, or perhaps a drowsy stupor, I slipped into the bathroom at 8:59 am, Tuesday, August 31st. As if on cue, the door opened at 9:00 am and bodies began to pile in. I had forgotten. The rest of the bathroom was now full of lively, energetic over-60 women fresh from the water aerobics class. And they were naked.
I was in a tough place: stay in the stall and pretend that it actually took me thirty minutes to pee, or gather my strength, pull up my pants and face the, uh, music. I delayed as long as I could, but when the discussion turned to the latest in diet trends I could handle no more. With the the stiffest of necks and the straightest of eyes I left my stall, proceeded directly to the sink, washed and dried my hands and promptly left the bathroom. AND...I managed to do it all while politely addressing the women, smiling with courtesy and not seeing anything that might possibly resemble me forty years in the future.
Though it was a brief lapse in memory, I did escape unscarred. Moral to the story? There isn't one. Just please, PLEASE stay out of the first floor bathroom by the indoor pool on Tuesday mornings between 9:00 - 9:30 am!