Polish Cream ... The New Irish Cream

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Not everyone's lucky enough to be Polish. For those of us that are, we've endured years of bad jokes and mistreatment just because of our fabulous heritage. It's a well-known fact that being Polish doesn't make one dim-witted anymore than being blonde makes one doltish. I'm not too humble to say it - I'm a pretty intelligent Pole.

However ...

Every now and then I have my moments. Last night was one of those such moments. Maybe it was my genes (maybe it was the glass of ChocoVine). Whatever happened, I set out to make Irish Cream. I now have a half-gallon of Polish Cream. I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Here's how you make Polish Cream.

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1. Start with a perfectly wonderful Irish Cream recipe:

2 eggs
14 oz. condensed sweetened milk
2 cups half & half
1 t. vanilla extract
1 t. almond extract
1 t. instant coffee
1 T. chocolate syrup
Up to 2 cups Irish Whiskey

Whisk eggs in a bowl. One at a time, add each ingredient and whisk until smooth. Pour into sterilized glass container and store in refridgerator for up to three weeks.

2. Discover that you don't have all of the ingredients.

3. Make substitutions:

2 eggs
14 oz. 50% something condensed sweetened milk (purchased at a thrift store, the label is in Spanish, so the 50% thing is a mystery)
1 cup half & half
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1 t. vanilla extract
1 t. almond extract
1 t. Ghiradelli's White Mocha powder
2 t. instant hot cocoa mix
1 cup vodka

Whisk eggs in a bowl. (Sip wine) One at a time, add each ingredient and whisk until smooth. (Sip) Pour into whatever plastic pitcher you can find.

4. Substitute Polish Cream for wine. Sip.