Polish Cream ... The New Irish Cream

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Not everyone's lucky enough to be Polish. For those of us that are, we've endured years of bad jokes and mistreatment just because of our fabulous heritage. It's a well-known fact that being Polish doesn't make one dim-witted anymore than being blonde makes one doltish. I'm not too humble to say it - I'm a pretty intelligent Pole.

However ...

Every now and then I have my moments. Last night was one of those such moments. Maybe it was my genes (maybe it was the glass of ChocoVine). Whatever happened, I set out to make Irish Cream. I now have a half-gallon of Polish Cream. I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Here's how you make Polish Cream.

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1. Start with a perfectly wonderful Irish Cream recipe:

2 eggs
14 oz. condensed sweetened milk
2 cups half & half
1 t. vanilla extract
1 t. almond extract
1 t. instant coffee
1 T. chocolate syrup
Up to 2 cups Irish Whiskey

Whisk eggs in a bowl. One at a time, add each ingredient and whisk until smooth. Pour into sterilized glass container and store in refridgerator for up to three weeks.

2. Discover that you don't have all of the ingredients.

3. Make substitutions:

2 eggs
14 oz. 50% something condensed sweetened milk (purchased at a thrift store, the label is in Spanish, so the 50% thing is a mystery)
1 cup half & half
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1 t. vanilla extract
1 t. almond extract
1 t. Ghiradelli's White Mocha powder
2 t. instant hot cocoa mix
1 cup vodka

Whisk eggs in a bowl. (Sip wine) One at a time, add each ingredient and whisk until smooth. (Sip) Pour into whatever plastic pitcher you can find.

4. Substitute Polish Cream for wine. Sip.

Remember when...

Remember when I used to have time to write here? I'd post witty, wonderful essays about my life, your lives, and the occasional Delta Airlines employee. I didn't outline anything. I rarely thought much about what I'd say until the words rolled of my ... fingertips. But now? There's just too much pressure to be funny.

When you only have time to post every six weeks, every word needs to count. You can't be boring when people only visit you nine times a year. One dull post and BAM! They abandon you for your sister's blog. The pressure is intense, but that's because the competition is astronomical.

Who would want to read my infrequent musings when you can find out about Stuff Christians Like. And let's be honest - I've discovered a couple of fun recipes, but my sister posts her culinary delights almost daily (not to mention encouraging words and craft ideas).

What do I have to offer? No, seriously - I'm asking. What makes this blog worth visiting?

Way back when I created this sarcastic dumping ground, blogs weren't a big deal. I mostly posted for my family, who lives on the other side of the country. I didn't want to deprive them of a single smart-ass moment of my life, so I started putting my thoughts out there for everyone to enjoy.

But now what? I'm one, insignificant voice in a sea of louder, more obnoxious whiners.

That's pretty much it. There's no real point to this post. I considered ending it with a carefully worded, well-thought out conclusion, but why? If rambling, pointless articles are good enough for Yahoo! Contributors, they're good enough for me.

Christmas Prep

I'm a little late in getting ready for Christmas this year. This is the first time I've worked full time while also writing, so time is scarce. I love making (not baking - making) snacks, though, so I spent all morning (and part of last night) whipping some things together and getting the house a little more decorated.

I started with haystacks. It disturbed me slightly to see how badly the butterscotch chips melted. They didn't really melt into liquid - more of a giant, butterscotch blob. Ew. I added some milk help thin it out, then dropped in a bit of coconut oil to make sure they set. They aren't pretty, but Matt like's 'em.

This morning I started the Chex Mix marathon. I love making different kinds of Chex Mix! On the stove you see Cheesy Ranch and Original mix. Off to the side, I was preppy the Snickerdoodle mix. I prefer the oven to using crock pots (and pretty much avoid the microwave as much as possible). Seriously though, it's winter and it's Michigan. There's nothing wrong with keeping the oven on for a few hours.

After the savory, it was time for the sweet: Snickerdoodle, Muddy Buddies (not pictured), and Candy Corn Corn. Last year I made Cinnamon Popcorn - melted Red Hot candies over popcorn. This year I couldn't find any more Red Hots, but I dug up a bag of Candy Corn. Really, it's this easy: melt 1 stick of butter and 1 bag of candy corn. Pour over popped pop corn (I'm not sure how much that is - it' filled the roasting pan). It's kind of tasty. I'm giving some to my Candy Corn Connoisseur friend for official judging.

I still had a lot of Chex left, so I made my favorite: Taco Check Mix. This year I added Hot & Spicy Cheez-its ... yum.

While I worked in the kitchen, Matt decorated the living room. For his birthday this year, he received a brand new advent calendar - by Lego. So far we have a bench with a coffee, a fire, Christmas tree, presents, fisherman, snowball catapult, police man, thief, and jail.

Matt also put some ornaments on the tree. It's been up and lit since Thanksgiving weekend, but it took a while before we got around to decorating it. This year we inherited many of my parents' organized ornament boxes, so he just grabbed two and started hanging - the tree is blue and crystal this year.

With one exception - the 2011 Van Buren Christmas Ornament.

I'm still here ...

... and I'm sore.

More on that later ...