Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I feel so competent

I've never considered myself a great driver. I mean, I drive out of necessity, for no other reason. If I could translate myself daily I would never get into a car again, but I must endure.

HOWEVER! This past week I've realized that, no matter how much I hate driving, I am by no means the worst driver in the world. Lemme tell you about my encounters with Vanity Girl and Time to Retire.

First, Vanity Girl. 2/5/07 - every school from Holland up to Central Lake, from Ludington over to Gaylord, is closed. It's 3 degrees with a wind chill 15-25 below zero; visiblity is sketchy and the roads are sheet ice because its too cold for the salt to work. I'm going to run errands and am stuck behind vanity girl. On the above day she is driving her friend across town, but she feels unpretty. She decides to put on MASCARA while DRIVING on SHEET ICE!!! But it gets better...when she's done, she puts her glasses back on. I maintain a safe 14 car-length distance...

Next, Time to Retire. 2/6/07 (My birthday, thank you very much) - schools are meeting, but its still cold as an iceberg. Pulling out of Do-It-Best hardware on Zimmerman Rd. is a cute couple, granny and gramps driving their 26' long Cadillac-Towncar-Lesabre beast of an automobile. I can barely feel my toes with the heat on in my car. They are driving down the road, single digits mind you, with their back driver side door WIDE OPEN! I took a quick peak...nothing in the backseat. Just a wide open door. I hope someone caught up with them...

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