Wednesday, September 03, 2008

That'th it...I'm movin' to Th'parta

I've had just about enough "animal" adventures to last me a lifetime...and they've happened in the last two days. Ug.

So, Monday night Matt sets up two live animal traps. We've got a "nipchunk" (that's Matt for chipmunk) getting ready for the winter under our house. Time to take care of that. Matt baits the traps and we're set.

He started back to work on a regular schedule yesterday, so he had to leave the house before six am. We didn't think about the trap. Later that morning I was going to hang my clothes on the line when I saw it. A HUGE, I'm talking GOLIATH sized chipmunk! He was curled up and asleep, all black and white. Then it hit me:


I did what any sane girl would do. I called every male I know within a fifty mile radius to come get rid of it. When that didn't work I called every male I know in the state of Michigan. I finally got a hold of a couple of people and decided the best thing to do would be cover the lil' bugger with a blanket...and wait for Matt to get home. So I called Matt and work and told him to come straight home, do not pass go, do not return pop cans. It worked out well.

Then we got to Wednesday. Matt had to be to work at 4:30, so we were up before the skunks. Being the loving, doting, intelligent woman that I am, I made Matt's breakfast and lunch...then I went back to sleep.

At some point the cats were going ape-crazy in the living room. I was trying to sleep. They were pissing me off. I yelled. Then I woke up and started my day.

A few minutes ago I noticed it: a log-like substance on my rug. Unfortunately there's no light in the hallway, so I turned on the lights in every room while I tried to figure out if it was kitty poop or kitty puke. It's neither.

I have myself a half-eaten mouse corpse. That's right. Crazy, noise making kitties? They were playing with the mouse. Then they mutilated it and left it for me. At least they didn't bring it to me in bed.

But this brings me to my next point: Christmas. I'm afraid of skunks. I don't touch dead animals (the mouse is leaving the house courtesy of a dustpan on a VERY long stick). Yet I'm forced to deal with such ickiness. So here it Christmas wish list:

1) Haz-Mat Suit

[PS...if you didn't get the title it's from Disney's Hercules. Mythologically inaccurate, but a fun flick)


Valerie said...

Okay I have to say I'm with you on the skunk thing. Really, I am! I would have been calling everyone I know to come take care of the darn thing.

But as to the mouse... I'll take a dead one over a live one ANY day. After finding one alive in the middle of my hallway floor (no cats), and having to "take care of it," I would much rather have found the dead one.

Then, we have this morning... I drive approximately 25 miles to work each day. When I was about .02 miles from work I see it... a mouse, coming up my windshield, over the wiper on the driver's side. WHAT???!!?!?!?! Yeah - so apparently it had made a home under the hood of my car overnight - and came out just in time to give me the willies for the WHOLE DAY!!!!

I watched it slide off the side of my windshield, where I assume it hit the ground. Knowing how wily the little beasts are, I'm sure it survived. Dang-nab-it!!

Karin said...

I feel better about my mouse story now :) Thanks, Val!

Valerie said...

Hey - anything I can do to help out the love of my life!! ;-)