Linda vs. the Gym

Post-workout selfie.

When Linda moved in with us, one of our goals was to help get her healthy. While we haven't done a great job of that in regards to weight control (I can't even control my own), we have made it a priority to go to the gym or take walks at least three times a week.

The exercise hasn't helped much with weight loss (thanks in part to our close proximity to bacon and Sour Patch Kids), but there are so many other benefits. When Linda's walking regularly, she's also, uh .... regular. She sleeps better. She's made friends at the gym. She's proud of her accomplishments. And, best of all, her mood improves.

Getting her to the gym, however, is about as easy as convincing my camo-wearing, truck-loving six-year old nephew that Barbies are better than Hot Wheels. This is how a typical workout day plays out:

Me: I'm gonna go to they gym today. Do you want to come?

Linda: No.

Me: Okay, but why don't you take a walk then. You haven't been on a walk in three days.

Linda: ARGH!!! I hate going to the gym!

Me: I know, so do I, but it keeps us healthy. The doctor wants us to go.

Linda: Why doesn't she mind her own business? (Yes, that's a direct quote.)

Me: The quicker we get there, the quicker we'll be home. 

Linda: I'm only doing 30 minutes.

Me: That's fine. You don't have to walk longer than 30 minutes.

Walk to the car. Linda grumbles the whole way. Get in the car.

Linda: (varies daily) The Tiger play today. I hope they win. The Yankees can go home. When's Adrian's baby due? I can't wait for Survivors.

Arrive at gym. Enter gym.

Gym members: Linda!

Linda: Hi! 

Polite small talk ensues. Linda starts her treadmill. I finish my 35 minute workout and let her know that I'm done.

Linda: I'm not done yet. 

Five minutes later.

Linda: I did 40 minutes today!

Leave gym. Drive home. Linda proceeds to call sisters, brother, nieces, Matt, and any other phone number on her list to let them know that she did 40 minutes today.

End Scene.

I wish I could say I'm exaggerating, but I'm not (well, maybe about the phone calls - she doesn't always call everyone on the list, but she certainly loves to let people know). Linda has lived with me 2.5 years, and 98% of the time this is what happens when we go to the gym. Sometimes there's swearing and the car conversation always changes, but the pattern remains:

1. Argue.

2. Work out.

3. Feel better/proud/accomplished.

I've been temped to let the workout slide, but the results are worth the struggle. She's never thanked me for taking her to the gym, but she does tell me how good she feels afterwards. That's all I need to hear.

How the Grinch Stole Snack Time

So much sugar...

 The new year approaches and we're getting ready to make some major dietary adjustments around here. My inspiration isn't the new year, it's the post-holiday food comas that have Linda, Matt, and me sitting on our duffs for days on end. It's time to get serious about eating well.

When aunt Linda moved in with us, one of our goals was to help her get healthy. In the past two years she's been able to eliminate one of her prescription meds (yea!), but not only has she not lost any weight, we've all gained it. Suggestions and will power don't work around here. I hate to have to do this, but for the sake of all of it, I'm locking up the food.

This hasn't been an easy decision to make. I'm an emotional eater. Matt's a late night snacker. Linda loves to munch while she watches the football/baseball/hockey game. That shouldn't be a problem, but it's the quantity of snacking that's showing up on our waistlines - three people splitting a bag of potato chips in one day. Yikes.

I've been trying to avoid this, but my attempts at portion control haven't worked. I bought single-serve salad dressings, but Linda put two on her salad. I pre-measured servings of peanuts, and she ate four throughout the day. I buy low-sugar cereal, but Matt eats 2-3 bowls at night. You don't want to know what I eat when my hormones are out of whack. We have serious impulse control issues.

We also have a late-night scavenger. I've been reduced to hiding Christmas cookies and Chex mix in my bedroom at night to make sure it doesn't disappear while I'm sleeping. Knowing that food disappears at night also prompts all of us to eat extra during the day because we never know if anything will be left in the morning.

Enough already.

We've even pulled our neighbor into our sphere of food.

I haven't broken the news to Linda yet, but I'm locking the pantry. My plan includes two 32 oz. water bottles for each of us (to make sure we're drinking enough plain water during the day), as well as snack bowls. Each day I'll set out a serving each of nuts or trail mix, crackers or chips, cereal, etc. When those are gone, the only other option will be the fridge, which we keep stocked with veggies and hard boiled eggs, and the fruit bowl. 

This may seem drastic, but when normal will power fails, sometimes you just need to lock up the chocolate chips. I'm anticipating some hostility and crankiness from all of is as we wean ourselves off large portions and too much sugar, but I also remember how much energy I had 30 lbs. ago, and I'd like to return to that lifestyle. 

Here's hoping the health benefits off-set the cravings quickly!