Ode to N2O

If anyone has ever seen my smile then you know that I have "problem teeth". From the time I was a child I've had issues. Apparently as some point during my youth something happened and the enamel didn't form properly on my teeth. Thanks to that little snafu (which has no real cause that anyone can identify) my life has included dozens of trips to the dentist for fillings, caps, and other pleasantries. You'd think after 20+ years of these visits that they'd get easier.

Not a chance.

I had to go back again today. I brought my MP3 player to drown out the noise. They used the local numb-er, then busted out the shots. I thought I was prepared. By the fourth poke I was ready to bolt, and I must have looked like it. The dentist and hygenist both looked at me and asked if I was okay. When I told them I wanted to run, they didn't hesitate.

"Maybe you'd like some nitrous oxide." Thank you Lord for the happy gas!

I can't tell you how close I was to a panic attack. I was one prod away from leaving with a numb face and unfilled cavities. My shoulders were tense, my knees locked, and I was sweating uncontrollably. It was pretty awful.

But then they gassed me.

I don't remember much past that, and that's the way I like it. Everything blurred blessedly together. It was a happy time.

And when I got up to leave I saw the four year-old boy in the cubicle next to me...with his own little baby happy-gas-mask. You know, I'm okay with that.

Because knowing is half the battle!!

G.I. JOE!!

Yes, I saw it today. It was over-the-top. It was slightly predictable. I laughed, I cringed. Lots of people died. Things blew up.

I LOVED IT!!

Talk about great memories. Remember when, at the end of each episode, a member of G.I. Joe would should up at little Billy's house to tell him why he shouldn't touch that live downed wire? "Thanks, Rip Cord! Now I know." "And knowing is half the battle."

Oh, those great memories :)

I recommend the movie folks. I wouldn't take the lil' kids, but it sure is fun for the young 30s crowd who remembers the cartoons!!

Little twig, big problems

Here it is folks...the story of a tree. Look at this little, innocent branch. It doesn't look like much. But wait, what's that dark spot? That's where it caught fire. Obviously not a big fire, so how much trouble could it cause?

First the fire truck came...

Then the neighbor kids showed up to watch...

Then the fireman put up a nice yellow caution tape around the tree (to keep the kids out)...

And then came the tree trimmer. Doesn't look too bad, does it?
Wait, there's the rest of the tree (acutally, that's the chipper...and more neighbors)
Then Matt grabbed is safety glasses and ear protection and he joined in on the fun...

This is what was originally left...about 1/3 of the tree gone. But then we got the call that the tree would just continue to be a problem. So...
Ta-da! Look - there's a house back there! And a window...do you see that window?
Midgie sees it now. All of that warm sunlight gives her a nice new place to warm up on a brisk 70 degree July day.
And that's the story of my tree. The wood should be gone soon, as the neighbors want to burn it in their stove. Then I'll have a nice clean yard.

The end.

In honor of my home...

...here's to the cherry capitol of the world! (But exercise caution...too many cherries give you cherry-tummy, and that can be uncomfortable to people around you).

Keep Your Yucky Tomato-Brains

I want to be healthy, I really do, but I can't stand tomato-brains.

You know what they are, I know you do. Every time you bite into a cherry tomato and the soggy skull pops and spills the slimy, gooey brains onto your tongue. Yuck! There has got to be a better way!

So I tried the Roma tomatoes. They're too big to pop in one bite, so I sliced one up and jabbed it with a fork. The rind stuck, but not those little seeds. Those gelatinous tomato fetuses, sliding all over the place, wrapped in a red amniotic fluid. Tiny tomato babies, never to be born.

Tomatoes have got to be the world's grossest food. It's either brains or babies - how can that be healthy?? I'm not sure, but with some salt and a clothes pin I can manage to eat the oyster wannabe. Ick.

In defense of, well...me

I'm just putting it out there so you can't blame me.

A week ago this HUGE branch on the tree in front of our house cracked away from the trunk (for further details please read the "Hammock" post). The branch will eventually need to come down, but we don't have the time right now. Matt is working 70 hrs/wk and I'm not comfortable enough with the chainsaw to start whacking away at it.

In the meantime the highest portion of the branch is leaning against the wires outside (I assume they are electrical). And I do mean they are leaning. You can see the strain on the wires. I called Consumers and let them know. I called them Wednesday. They said someone would be out in 24-36 hours. The branch is still pressing on the wires.

So I just want to let you know that I did my part. If we get a storm and the branch falls and the power goes out, not my fault. If the wind blows and a live wire falls to the ground in the midst of this highly child-populated neighborhood, I'm not to blame. I did what I could.

I have to admit that I'm not a fan of the reactive attitude of people these days. Here's a chance to be proactive and prevent a mess from happening. Sigh. I guess it doesn't really matter until someone is inconvenienced or hurt. Bummer.

Yahoo! and the American Dental Association

Is it just me, or does anyone else here have to look at nasty ads for teeth whiteners on their Yahoo! email page? It's gross!!

Day after day I log into my writing account and ICK! Close-ups of people's mouths - sick.

There has got to be a better way to advertise teeth whitening systems. In the meantime, Yahoo! will hear from me. My stomach can only handle so much.

"By Darkness Hid" by Jill Williamson

A while ago I volunteered to be an "influencer" on Jill's book "By Darkness Hid". I had forgotten about it until the book arrived in the mail. Then I dawdled because I was in a chick-lit mood and wasn't ready to jump into speculative fiction (you never know how well someone will describe their worlds, and sometimes it just gets confusing).

I'M GLAD I FINALLY PICKED IT UP!

I loved Jill's book! Here's the blurb I've been posting around the net:

"This is a fabulous speculative fiction book. Williamson quickly pulls the reader into her world and into the lives of Achan and Vrell. Though the characters are young (teens) and the setting is unfamiliar (Er'Rets), Williamson's creativity and style so fully captivate the reader that you forget any preconceived idea's about "fantasy" or "young adult" literature. Instead, you find yourself wrapped up in the lives of Achan and Vrell, afraid for, crying with, and cheering for them along the way."

If you've ever considered picking up a spec-fic book (especially if you have a young one who likes Harry Potter) give this a whirl. Not only is it fun and compelling, but Jill weaves Christian faith into the plot (she says it shows up more in the latter books of the trilogy, but you get a glimpse of it now).

You can read more about Jill here, and you can check out her publisher, Marcher Lord Press, here.

Enjoy!

I'm a sissy, I know it.

My house is constantly crawling with spiders (ick!). I'm not a fan. But this morning was really gross. This one spider was hanging out with a little sack...balled up bug? Pack of eggs?

Ick, ook, and double yuck!!

I grabbed a big paper towel and gardening gloves. Yes, I wore gardening gloves to kill a Daddy Long Legs. (gag) I'm a sissy. I'm okay with that.

My poor, poor hammock

After only one full summer of suspended slumber I am sad to announce that my hammock tree cracked. Literally. The big branch that held the ropes? Apparently the wind, rain, and gravity proved too much and that sucker cracked at the joint where it connects to the trunk!

It's sad, yes, but it's also a new burden. Upon closer inspection it looks like some of the branches are now resting on the utility lines - yikes! It should be okay for now, but we might be getting a storm this weekend. It's bad enough when the rains come in and knock out your power, but I might freak out if I lost power because there were live wires hopping around in my front yard.

So tomorrow I'm calling the electric company (I'm assuming those are their lines). I'm not sure about the gray lines, though. Anyone know who those belong to? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

It was a good hammock branch. I'll miss it. Matt's trying to find me another branch that might work. We'll have to see about that. I'm not entirely convinced just yet.

Even though this is a sad day it could have been worse - I could have lost the branch that holds up my redneck clothes line. Now that would be a truly sad day.

My Hubby, My Hero

(DISCLAIMER: This is not intended to rag on Matt's employer. We love them and all that they've provided for us. We recognize what a blessing they are - yeah, American Waste!)

Despite the craziness of the job market Matt works for a growing company. They aren't without problems, however.

Matt works for a garbage company - when it comes to paying monthly bills a lot of people are choosing to ignore the garbage bill (let's face it - the electricity is much more important than having you trash collected). Between that and the gas prices (last summer really hurt them) the company isn't making a whole lot of extra money, even though they're gaining new customers each month.

Even though things aren't going perfectly, the owners are taking care of their employees: no lay-offs. Instead they're cutting as much as they can to make it possible to keep everyone working (and paid!).

Remember when I said the company is growing? Well, it's not just growing - it's multiplying. Matt works at the recycle center (where they sort and bale recyclables to ship out to recycling companies). The building was built with the idea that they would produce "X" amount of bales to ship out each year. But with the new green movement, the fact that free recycling bins help cut garbage costs for individuals, and the company continually buying out/picking up new business each month the original estimate is kinda of low. In fact, if I heard Matt correctly, they now bale/ship FOUR TIMES the original "X" amount of bales!

What does this mean for Matt? When he started there in 2006 he worked 45-55 hour weeks during the summer (the busy season). In 2007 it was 50-60 hours. Last year he was recovering from surgery and was only allowed to work up to 50 hours, but the other guys ran a consistent 60 with a few weeks over that. And this summer? I think the last six weeks Matt has put in 70 hours per week. SEVENTY!

The hardest thing about his schedule is what it does to his social life. He has to get up at 4:15 every morning so Matt has to choose: friends or sleep. When he was fighting the cancer it was no question - sleep always won. Not so much anymore.

I know it's not easy for him. I know he's tired, which makes him crabby. And then he misses events which makes him crabbier still. It's a no-win right now. I've tried to be patient and as helpful as possible because I know this is hard for him. At least, I thought I knew how hard it was for him. I didn't really. Not until this morning.

Last night Matt wanted to sacrifice the sleep to hangout with friends and watch a baseball game (we had free tickets). No problem. We did. And then this morning I drove him to work so that I can pick him after and drive straight to my parents'. By the time we got home and got to bed it was 11:30 last night. The alarm went of at 3:50 this morning (they started work early).

Matt dressed, got some breakfast, and headed out. I struggled. My eyes burned. My lids drooped. Nothing in my brain wanted to get up. I couldn't wait to get home and crawl back into bed.

Then it hit me...Matt does this six days a week.

There are a few nights when he's lucky enough to get seven hours of sleep (eight hours every couple of weeks) but most nights he catches five to six hours. Then he works 10-12 hour days of physical, dirty labor.

I got to come back home and go to sleep...Matt never has that option. He gets up and goes to work so we can eat...so we can buy a house...so we can live debt free. Sometimes he complains about it, but not often. He just does what he has to do: he provides for our household, regardless of how much sleep he gets.

I couldn't do that. I wouldn't even want to try. This morning I got the faintest glimpse of what Matt sacrifices for us. I am in awe of him, and so proud of what he does. He's my hero.

Thank you Captain Obvious

This whole "learning-to-be-a-writer" thing has ruined books and magazines for me. I see and read everything differently. And I notice the stupid things that people print on magazine covers:

"Kate's Private Hell": Um...how can anything be 'private' if it's a headline?

(Commenting on her divorce) "I Feel Like I Failed": Um...you're getting a divorce. Marriage? Failed!

There were a few others today (as I waited in line at Meijer...forever) but those are the two that jumped out. I might not have noticed them a month ago...now my brain has been branded.

Good-bye Winter Blues

Finally, finally it's summer!

The thermometer has pushed past 70 degrees. The sun shines. The breeze keeps perspiration at bay. And I can finally pack up my hats and boots.

This past summer nearly killed me. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally. I don't think it's typical for husbands to hug their wives and TELL THEM to leave the state. I was so miserable that I could stop crying, which made me angry, which made me yell, which led to more crying...I was a wreck.

Thank God for sisters with frequent flyer miles.

But now, finally I'm comfortable in flip-flops! I'm wearing a sundress! I can leave the house with less than four layers of clothing and not worry about my hands freezing to the steering wheel - woo hoo!!

I've waited five longs months for this day.

And now that it's here, I'm stuck at my computer?? I don't think so! I have a few more things to type up, but then I'm outta here!! I've got a back full of books and a bottle of water...there's a beach with my name on it folks!

Happy, happy summer!!!!

The Newest Addiction

Canada Dry Ginger Ale with Green Tea - whew!

My sister picked some of this up on sale the when I was visiting. It didn't last long. It's not too sweet and the tea gives it a truly refreshing zing. Ah!

I've been telling Matt about it for a while and it was finally on sale today! We bought a 5 qt. pail of vanilla ice cream last week for root beer floats and he decided today to buy some ginger ale for floats too. I convinced him to pick up some with green tea and we went home. He had a ginger ale float. I had a baby one with green tea (4 oz, tops).

Fast forward five hours and I returned from the baseball game. I'm running around the kitchen and pick up the two liters to move them. Over HALF of the GA with GT is gone!! I looked a Matt.

His eyes turned into saucers. "I think you're gonna need to buy some more of that this week."

Another convert.

On a similar (but different) note, we also tried the Pepsi Throwback - made with sugar (not high fructose corn syrup). Another round of thumbs up. Once again, it's not as sweet at the regular Pepsi. Granted we don't drink a whole lot of soda anyway, but when we do Matt and I usually have to split a can (yes, a can) because it's too sweet to handle.

So there you have it folks: two sweet, but not too sweet, soda alternatives.

Enjoy!

Civic Duty Served

Hey y'all! I'm back from the court house. What an interesting couple of days!

I didn't really want to be on the jury. Who wants to say 'yes, you're guilty' or 'sorry, this isn't the person who violated you, please try again'? Okay, fine...it didn't really bother me to say that. But it is intimidating to know that you will directly effect someone's future. I mean, what if both sides presented their cases and I still didn't know? What if I was the person who hung the jury? That's a lot of pressure.

On the other side of the coin, however, was my desire to know how it really works. To read most of my observations, please go here. Most of my curiosity stems from being a writer and wanted to someday be able to accurately represent what happens in a court room. Let's be honest, we know that TV shows are just that - they're shows. But even though we know real people don't look like those actors, and even though we know the actors have scripts are are performing, people still believe a court runs like Law & Order and we get evidence the way they do on CSI.

Sorry folks. Didn't happen.

But I like knowing that! I like knowing that someday I can write a story about a young court reporter who falls in love with the handsome court officer (no bailiff), or catches the eye of Juror #8 (in the front row). I like knowing that I can tell the story of the cramped jury room with the tall windows and gourmet donuts (Potters...yummy). I have a whole new arsenal of info here, folks!

And most importantly I played my part. Though I try to be sympathetic to most people (I'm not always good at that), I have no place for uninvolved whiners who complain without ever taking action (if you didn't vote, I'm pointing at you). Now I could have come up with excuses to get off the jury. I could have said any number of true things that might have dismissed me (I'm a Christian), but I also could have lied. Certain things would have gotten me booted. But would I want that on a jury if I ever had to go to trial? Would I want to know that an intelligent, educated, mostly-sane (though overly dramatic) woman just didn't want to be bothered? That's not really fair to the defendant or the plaintiff, so I stuck it out.

I'm not sure how long my name stays in the pool now. And I'm not sure what this means for my future. You see my hubby has never even received the questionnaire to fill out, and I've gotten it four times since I turned eighteen. And then our jury consisted of two people who had already each served on two juries - this was their third! Kinda seems like someone people get it and others don't.

Shrug. That's okay with me. I'd rather go and let my sugar daddy take care of the bacon for me. I can take the time off (oh wait! I'm on summer vaca...that's right).

Okay, I've rambled enough.

In case any of you are curious we had to decide two matters: Utter & Publishing and Larceny in a Building. We found her guilty on the U&P and not guilty on the larceny.

Dude...I'm famous!

Check me out here.

I look good in green, dontcha think?

The Golden Child

There is a benefit to being the only VB daughter still within driving distance of my parents. I got to go to my dad's retirement party this week. Apparently everyone was completely fascinated by me and my hubby - they couldn't wait to tell my parents.

Although, it's not TOO surprising. I mean, I did tell everyone that Cam and Shell weren't there because they don't love my dad as much as I do. Do you think that mattered? ;)

Does being young make you better?

Okay, there's a 66 year-old pregnant woman. There's controversy. She's too old. She can't do it. Blah, blah, blah.

Have you noticed that you're a 30-something who can't run a mile, but there are 70-somethings running 10K races?

Why is AGE the issue - it should be health! Are you HEALTHY enough to have children. It angers me that a 20 year-old who eats Doritos and drinks Mountain Dew can have a baby because she's young enough, but if a 60 year-old who exercises, eats well, and is financially secure gets pregnant SHE'S the irresponsible one? What?!?!

Yes, that mother won't get to see her grandchildren, but she'll get to raise a child. But what about the 24 year-old single mother living on welfare and raising her three kids by three different daddies. Who's live will be better? The kid who's mom dies when he's in his early twenties, but has a good, safe home and a college education, or the kid lived in a two-bedroom apartment with his sibs, mom, and "uncles" and will have to go to work after high school because college is too expensive and he has to get job to help raise his sibs.

Yes, I used extremes here to make my point. Not ALL 60 year-old women are like that; neither are all 24 year-old mothers. But THAT is my point. You can't tell ANYTHING about a person by their age - other than when they were born.

And I'm just going to point out THIS sexual inequality - how old was Larry King when his last child was born? If we're going to tell women they can't have babies past a certain age then we damn well better give every man a vasectomy at the same time...we wouldn't want them to grow up without a father.

Let's stop being so superficial folks. Granted I don't want to have a kid when I'm that old, and I'm not really promoting or encouraging it, but just pointing out that saying you're a WOMAN and you're OLD are two really bad reasons to say you aren't qualified to have kids.

Okay, I'm done.

Bubble Butt: Take Two

I did it again...signed up for Weight Watchers. Why? Because I'm an emotional eater and I can't do this alone.

I did great last summer, then I blew it. I stopped exercising and ate whatever I wanted. Now I feel awful, I look just as bad, and I'm frustrated with myself.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing is the fact that I don't even realize what I'm eating. There are times when I KNOW I'm being bad (hello...pizza and ice cream, it doesn't take a genius). But then there are times when I don't even realize what I'm puting in my mouth. I think, "I did GREAT today", but then I think about everything that I ate: the handful of M&M's at school, the cookie from the bank, popcorn made my hubby (which was cooked in oil and covered it butter). Without even thinking about it I'm shoving that into my face.

This is a real frustration for me. I don't have energy and my clothes are tight. I'm sick of watching my waistline reflect my mood. I really can't keep this up for the rest of my life...it's too frustrating. But I also know that I can't run five times a week an hour each time because that's not realistic for me.

I don't know why I put this up here. I just did. I needed to vent. Sorry.

My Husband's New Obsession

Beer.

For most of you, this doesn't seem like a big deal, but for anyone who really knows Matt (I'm thinking Jamie here) you'll understand why this is kinda funny.

You see Matt is NOT a drinker. He didn't have the "traditional" college experience. He started his own business when he was 16 yrs. old and worked at that until he closed shop in 2005. When he has free time he grabs a backpack and tent and heads to the woods. Alcohol has never been a temptation or desire.

Then he met me.

If you knew me pre-2001, then you know I used throw down a 6-pack without blinking. Not so much anymore. However, I still enjoy adult beverages. I like to buy a bottle of wine or some beer and finish it over the course of a few months ;) I mean, really - what's a fresh grilled burger without a cold beer, right?

Now that Matt works at the recycle center he sees dozens of kinds of beer bottles/cans every day, and his curiosity is high. We've had some beer before, but usually because I pick it up for some reason. Well that has changed.

A couple of weeks ago Michelob ran a special: buy (4) 6-packs, get a $15 rebate. Matt nearly burst with excitement! We bought all four and sent in for the rebate. The NEXT WEEK he wanted to try another brand...and he's got some ideas for what else he wants to try.

Here's why this doesn't work very well: Matt is a super light-weight. Plus he's not quite used to the beer taste yet, so he drinks about 6 oz. at a time. You heard that right...if he had some beer every night it would take him almost two weeks to kill a 6-pack. And that's IF he has a beer every night...which he doesn't.

So right now I'm holding him at bay and INSISTING that we finish at least 1/2 of the beer that we have before we start getting more. He's chompin' at the bit, but still drinking vveeerrryyy slowwwwwllyyy. I'm not sure what flavor we'll try next, but at this rate we should be ready it sometime toward the end of June.